For the past six years, two cans of chicken soup have lived in my cupboard. A donation from a previous housemate. Tesco brand. I mainly took them as a gesture to prevent waste, but I liked the idea of having soup ready to offset illness or apocalyptic circumstances.
These cans became a monument other purchases had to accommodate. Chopped tomatoes to the left, breakfast bowls wedged in front, with a slanted pack of spaghetti locking the soup into the back formation. Months later, the cans of soup became an immovable wallpaper fixture; a comforting, regular sight when I opened the cupboard multiple times a day.
I’m occasionally terrified of settling into a cycle of comfort – something I’m prone to. I allegedly come off as a people pleaser, which I both understand and despise because of the negative connotations. It’s part of the reason why, I think, I didn’t come out as gay until my late 20s. A hesitancy to rock the boat. An insecurity about overstepping the mark. I’m more confident about occupying space today and stepping out of inoffensive shyness, but I wonder whether that’s personal growth or my thirties naturally moving the gear stick.
I’ve started to question how much comfort bleeds into my media consumption. I’ve been “entertained” by many things, yet little has left a lasting, inspiring impression. It’s not all designed for this but, as I get older, I increasingly value the rush when something does. That sense of something galvanising your brain, or rejuvenating a part of your soul. I’ve started to push back against the idea of watching something dumb to “turn the brain off” – I think this mentality kills curiosity. We live in an age where decades of creativity is at our fingertips, why are you watching Lulu dressed as a piece of cake on The Masked Singer?
Truth is, I know why. It’s chicken soup. An easy background constant. It’s a cheap wank to get through the day. A digestible counter to the complications of life. I write this to stand up for a better life, where you engage with things you’ll smile about when thinking about them at the end times – or something that will inspire you to be creative yourself.
I decided to throw out my cans of chicken soup after watching PsychOdyssey, a 32-part documentary about the making of Psychonauts 2. It’s the greatest document about the art of game creation there’s ever been, captured over seven years. It’s also highly specific to my tastes – something I’ll carry with me and recommend for the rest of my days.
It’s likely I’ll fall into a comfortable fatigue again. Humanity’s curse is being wired to be walking hypocrites. Even so, the slightest awareness of it is better than coasting without it. Challenge yourself, engage in the unexpected, and reach beyond what’s left on the shelf.
StarkTreatment 