Trap
When you’re staring, there’s no time to look within or around, to question the limits to which we’re bound. I’m locked in a room under a screen’s burning glow, ropes knotted around my ankles and wrists, embedded into a chair. My eyelids peeled back in a trap, neck jutted back, consuming all day until I’m…
Iconic
It’s been 18 hours since somebody said it. The Taj Mahal fell on March 26. Days before that, the Eiffel Tower. Historical landmarks desecrated by a force invisible to the naked eye, all because we can’t see beyond ourselves and what’s come before. A word tossed around without care, without gravity, at the cost of…
Trying to verbalise why I like Taylor Swift
Recently, I’ve found myself in the unfortunate position of defending Taylor Swift. It’s quite hard to defend someone who is overwhelmingly rich, immeasurably famous, and as agonisingly omnipresent as Swift. Her fame is invasive on everyone – between news headlines, sports coverage, social media bickering, or that club that always plays ‘Cruel Summer’ when your…
I think my perfect man is the Prince Of Persia
As the title might imply, I’ve been playing Prince Of Persia: The Lost Crown. It’s the first game in the series for 14 years, mainly because publisher Ubisoft pivoted its energies into spiritual successor, and intense money-maker, Assassin’s Creed. The move makes financial sense, but after playing The Lost Crown, I’m burning up something rotten. …
Throwing out the chicken soup
For the past six years, two cans of chicken soup have lived in my cupboard. A donation from a previous housemate. Tesco brand. I mainly took them as a gesture to prevent waste, but I liked the idea of having soup ready to offset illness or apocalyptic circumstances. These cans became a monument other purchases…
Taxi Driver
The other week, I sucked off a taxi driver. I’m still figuring out why. Yes, I was horny. I was heavily inebriated, the jury will be pleased to hear. But I had no attraction to this man. Zero. Yet I responded to this proposition with a perverse glee – asking ‘you serious?’ on repeat until…
My tastes are changing
This post originally started as a lyrical bitch against Spider-Man: No Way Home. A Marvel movie which induced a 24-hour identity crisis between the current self and my teenage idolisation of Alfred Molina’s Doctor Octopus. Harmless fun is what I expected, but I left embarrassed. Why does this feel so icky? Like a creepy executive…
Music recs for a dead person
People don’t talk about music reinstalling grief. It’s a powerful tool for sinking into past memories, connecting to prior versions of yourself, and realigning motivations in the present. Yet, there’s a sadness when those connections are no longer around. Like diving back into a swimming pool with faces of the deceased floating beneath the surface.…
Put authors back on chat shows
Some say mainstream culture has been dumbed down over the decades. You might be defensive about this, throwing out some variation on the ‘old man yells at cloud’ meme from The Simpsons. This response is understandable, the rhetoric typically comes from the raggedy scrotes who miss the “good old days” and would bring back hanging…
Reminder: We all cum, shit and piss
Common sense tells us human beings are the dominant species on the planet. We’ve terraformed the world to our liking, put other creatures into zoos for our pleasure, while leaders over centuries have dictated the land boundaries we’ve come to define as countries. We’ve ascended to this position through our emotional and imaginative intelligence, a…
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